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request from a girl

March 16, 2010 Leave a comment

“Another conversation… this time about girls having a problem with guys being that when they’re with other girls, they are undoubtedly doing the same thing and it means they don’t feel special.

I actually work in the opposite way, see players as having high value and feeling special when they choose to spend the time with me over other options. A “player” I have a friendship/relationship of sorts with (Ally for those that follow the blog) drives me up the wall. I hear from him sporadically and he blows hot and cold yet he continually wins me over. I know exactly what he’s like but whenever we’re together he charms the hell out of me and makes me feel really special.

But I’ve had loads of friends complain about players. Fair enough for guys like Ally  (I asked him outright though he thought it sounded great as all guys should have sex with lots of beautiful women and and by the way did I know I was beautiful?) that mess girls around but there are plenty of you guys that sound like perfectly respectful players. The phrase leave her better than you found her always comes to mind when I try to explain the concept to someone.

From what I read here, many of you seem more respectful towards women than most of the muppets I meet who commit horrendous crimes such as saying what they think I want to hear (I much prefer them to be upront), insisting on paying for everything even when I say it makes me uncomfortable (because I like to keep things equal) and acting as though I’m doing them a favour by spending time with them rather than because I want to (I mean how rude is that? I’m not a fucking prostitute!).

So I see no reason for women to distrust players since in my experience they are honest, equalitist (I dislike the term feminist) and above all are not grateful (*shudder*). But women, I’m afraid to say, tend to be monumentally and fundamentally stupid! Most so-called nice guys are actually deeply misogynistic largely due to the social conditioning that made them “nice”, whereas true players tend to really like women. That women distrust men that like women just seems daft to me.

But sometimes I feel like I’m fighting alone. A girlfriend actually said of the guys we were with on Friday night, “they’re really nice guys, none of them are going to hit on you.” And they were nice, very nervous of me and very eager to please (*yawn*). One just sent me a message via facebook where he actually apologised for sending the message. Lets just take a moment and think about how pathetic that is.

Anyway, I try to make my girlfriends less wary of the guys that are good with women and I tell them off whenever they say crap like “I don’t know, he just seemed a bit you know, smooth” (right yeah that makes sense, I love it when a guy gets all nervous and stares at my breasts too much).

Ultimately for me this has nothing to do with whether the player is building a “harem” or merely auditioning for a woman worthy of his majestic self. Women as a group need to understand that a guy that is connected to the community is not slimy or strange (that’s the chode in the corner that’s memorising the curve of her ass for when he goes home to wank away his frustrated little woes) but quite the opposite, he’s someone looking to be the best he can be and be with the best women. If this was more acknowledged then I think we’d see women actually wanting to be better.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Women as a rule are lazy! They have all these guys (ok maybe not the ugly girls ) running after them and they therefore don’t seek to improve themselves. This is why most of my friends are guys I want to be the best me I can be and live the best life I can. So few women take that on board (but I can “sell” it to the average guy in minutes). If more women worked on themselves the way that so many men have to, we’d see less nice guys because more women would give guys a chance, realising quite rightly that being approached IS A FUCKING COMPLIMENT. Furthermore, if women saw players in a positive light they’d encourage more guys to be honest, equalitist and not dripping with gratitude which would see happier women.

I’m ranting, I’m aware so I’ll try to get to my point. Which is a request. Whenever you hear a woman (friend, sister, girl in club) comment about a guy being smooth or being a player, pick her up on it. Say outright that we are all motivated by similar things and the only difference between a player and a “nice” guy is that the “nice” guy is lying to you. If they say that they don’t feel special then tell them to be more special! Improve yourself so that he finds you so captivating that he evaluates whether he wants to be with anyone else. Surely it is better to become a fantastic person and win the heart of a fantastic person than to bitch about it and settle for a grateful chode who you know will never give you the peel-you-off-the-ceiling orgasms you crave.

If you could do that and help me out I’d be ever so grateful ;)”

-posted by a girl

Categories: Uncategorized

price of nice

March 10, 2010 1 comment

All things are moderation… including moderation. Monotony sucks. You know this either by pleasure or pain. If the latter, then it was a real wake up call andmaybe you lost a relationship because of it.

NICE is BORING. That doesn’t mean being the bad boy is the only way to go. Yet, when we act nice a hot girl used to being approached constantly may well hit defcon 1, “What does this guy want from me?”

And in response to the bad boy she realizes that he doesn’t need anything. Allow me to elaborate. Consider that the nice guy is one that may have hurt her in the past. Some oaf, playing the nice guy could have played her… and now she’s on guard. So many have observed how the bad boy thing works.

Nice too often means dull. Naughty is at the very least, interesting.

Here’s a few principles to think about when you’re in a relationship.

In a relationship, sure, you’re going to show love and there are five ways of showing love.

Saying it is one of the weakest if you’re saying it all the time.

Doing caring things.

Giving gifts “Here, I brought you a squirrel.”

Saying it.

Um… spraying it.

I’ve forgotten the fifth one… shit.

Show that love day and night sure, make efforts in the relationship that bring you both happiness, but have enough space from each other that your beloved can feel the loss of you each day. When you’re giving your girl attention it should be like the sun is shining in her face… not out of her ass and when you take that beautiful energy away from her, you enhance it even more.

What is a night without the day? Cold… the sun also rises. What is a nice day for 9 months like in the arctic circle? Boring and dreadful on the eyes. NICE? Pfftt. Always remember, dark clouds make sunbeams.

Do nice things sure but master their absence and work on push pull theory within the frame of relationship. Forget Nice.

Here’s a simple equation, hope + doubt = passion.

If you give a girl the impression you’re going to be around forever you’ll run the risk of boring the pants off her instead of taking her pants off. Scarcity increases value.

When your time is limited it becomes all the more special for each moment they have the prize of you in sight. You keep her wanting for more because she fears the prospect of you leaving… RELATIONSHIPS ARE NO DIFFERENT! Scarcity = Value. Give the gift of missing you.

Be romantic, be adventurous, you can FLIRT with your girlfriend you know? Be playful, be naughty, be yourself, that’s sexy, but don’t even get near NICE. You fullfil her needs, emotional security, physical hungers, thirsts… you feed her, you cook for her, you love her.

Nice, predictable, regular…*YAWN* average… usual… *ZZZZ* normal.

VS

Passionate! Unpredictable… Boo! Extraordinary! Exciting! Unusual, Natural…

Live each of your days with passion. Keep her guessing, keep her wanting. Keep taking away. Keep surprising her. Exceed your own expectations and accept that your best is good enough. Have her invest in you at least as much as you invest in her… we become part of what we invest in. So garner this principle and reap the rewards.

Being nice could cost you in the end. Think about it. 😉

Categories: Uncategorized