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request from a girl

“Another conversation… this time about girls having a problem with guys being that when they’re with other girls, they are undoubtedly doing the same thing and it means they don’t feel special.

I actually work in the opposite way, see players as having high value and feeling special when they choose to spend the time with me over other options. A “player” I have a friendship/relationship of sorts with (Ally for those that follow the blog) drives me up the wall. I hear from him sporadically and he blows hot and cold yet he continually wins me over. I know exactly what he’s like but whenever we’re together he charms the hell out of me and makes me feel really special.

But I’ve had loads of friends complain about players. Fair enough for guys like Ally  (I asked him outright though he thought it sounded great as all guys should have sex with lots of beautiful women and and by the way did I know I was beautiful?) that mess girls around but there are plenty of you guys that sound like perfectly respectful players. The phrase leave her better than you found her always comes to mind when I try to explain the concept to someone.

From what I read here, many of you seem more respectful towards women than most of the muppets I meet who commit horrendous crimes such as saying what they think I want to hear (I much prefer them to be upront), insisting on paying for everything even when I say it makes me uncomfortable (because I like to keep things equal) and acting as though I’m doing them a favour by spending time with them rather than because I want to (I mean how rude is that? I’m not a fucking prostitute!).

So I see no reason for women to distrust players since in my experience they are honest, equalitist (I dislike the term feminist) and above all are not grateful (*shudder*). But women, I’m afraid to say, tend to be monumentally and fundamentally stupid! Most so-called nice guys are actually deeply misogynistic largely due to the social conditioning that made them “nice”, whereas true players tend to really like women. That women distrust men that like women just seems daft to me.

But sometimes I feel like I’m fighting alone. A girlfriend actually said of the guys we were with on Friday night, “they’re really nice guys, none of them are going to hit on you.” And they were nice, very nervous of me and very eager to please (*yawn*). One just sent me a message via facebook where he actually apologised for sending the message. Lets just take a moment and think about how pathetic that is.

Anyway, I try to make my girlfriends less wary of the guys that are good with women and I tell them off whenever they say crap like “I don’t know, he just seemed a bit you know, smooth” (right yeah that makes sense, I love it when a guy gets all nervous and stares at my breasts too much).

Ultimately for me this has nothing to do with whether the player is building a “harem” or merely auditioning for a woman worthy of his majestic self. Women as a group need to understand that a guy that is connected to the community is not slimy or strange (that’s the chode in the corner that’s memorising the curve of her ass for when he goes home to wank away his frustrated little woes) but quite the opposite, he’s someone looking to be the best he can be and be with the best women. If this was more acknowledged then I think we’d see women actually wanting to be better.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Women as a rule are lazy! They have all these guys (ok maybe not the ugly girls ) running after them and they therefore don’t seek to improve themselves. This is why most of my friends are guys I want to be the best me I can be and live the best life I can. So few women take that on board (but I can “sell” it to the average guy in minutes). If more women worked on themselves the way that so many men have to, we’d see less nice guys because more women would give guys a chance, realising quite rightly that being approached IS A FUCKING COMPLIMENT. Furthermore, if women saw players in a positive light they’d encourage more guys to be honest, equalitist and not dripping with gratitude which would see happier women.

I’m ranting, I’m aware so I’ll try to get to my point. Which is a request. Whenever you hear a woman (friend, sister, girl in club) comment about a guy being smooth or being a player, pick her up on it. Say outright that we are all motivated by similar things and the only difference between a player and a “nice” guy is that the “nice” guy is lying to you. If they say that they don’t feel special then tell them to be more special! Improve yourself so that he finds you so captivating that he evaluates whether he wants to be with anyone else. Surely it is better to become a fantastic person and win the heart of a fantastic person than to bitch about it and settle for a grateful chode who you know will never give you the peel-you-off-the-ceiling orgasms you crave.

If you could do that and help me out I’d be ever so grateful ;)”

-posted by a girl

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